Memorial Day

Memorial Day is a day that is set aside to remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for freedom. I am thankful for all the men and women who gave their life serving our country. We truly do live in the land of the free because of the brave.

When I was young, Memorial Day always meant a trip to the cemetery where my grandpa Seipert was buried in a town about 30 miles from where I grew up. We would take flowers (always yellow gladiolas because that is what my grandma wanted him to have). I have always associated this day with remembering loved ones who are no longer with us. Today, I am thinking of a couple of people that I was blessed to know in my life that have passed away.

My grandma, Frances Seipert, was my dad's mother.
She was the only grandparent that I knew because my mom's parents and my grandpa Seipert had passed away before I was born. Grandma Fritz, as we called her, was a special lady. She and grandpa had 4 boys, and she would tell everyone that she met about her 4 boys. She was so proud of them. My grandpa died at the age of 52, and my grandma had to go to work to support herself. She worked at Woolworth's and JC Penney and had to be on her feet all day. Her life wasn't easy after grandpa died, but she didn't complain.
My grandma lived in California when I was little, so I only got to see her once or twice a year. When I was 14, she moved to Idaho to be near us and we became very close. My grandma was a funny lady. She would tell a joke and if you were sitting next to her, she would tap you on the leg to make sure you got the joke! She had beautiful long fingernails which she always painted herself, and she liked to go get her hair done. My grandma loved the San Francisco 49ers (especially Joe Montana), french fries, hard peppermint candy, and "just a little wine" with her dinner. She developed dementia in her later years and when she wanted to call my dad at work, she would just dial 911 because he was a police officer. Made sense to her! :) She lived over 30 years after my grandpa died, and she missed him every day. She always said that he was the only one for her. I know she is with him now.

Colin's brother Paul passed away 4 years ago.
Paul was older than Colin by 2 years, and he was born with Prader-Willi Syndrome. It is a mental and physical handicap. I first met Paul after Colin and I had been dating about a month and a half and he took me home to meet his family over Thanksgiving. I already loved Colin by this time, but I have to say I loved him a little more after seeing how sweet he was to his brother.
Colin's mom told me that Paul always wanted a sister- instead, he got Colin. So Paul was thrilled when I married into the family. He finally had a sister. One time I was there visiting and we were getting ready to go to breakfast. I was the last one to get ready and I heard Paul say that he was hungry and wanted to go eat. Colin's mom told him "Paul, you are going to have a sister now and sometimes they take longer to get ready." I didn't hear him complain anymore after that. Paul's smile could melt anyone's heart. Paul would never be able to drive, so after Colin got his driver's license, he would take Paul in the car and go for a drive, just the two of them. Paul would never be able to get married, but he was able to be a part of our wedding. Paul loved The Brady Bunch, The Beach Boys, and all birthdays and holidays (or any cause for a celebration), where good food was involved! He loved his doggie niece and nephew and they loved their uncle Paul. We love and miss our brother!

Sugarland, Darius Rucker, Danny Gokey and Jake Owen- OH MY!

On Friday night we saw Sugarland, Danny Gokey, and my boyfriend Jake Owen, at the Comcast Center in Mansfield, MA. In case you were wondering, Colin does know about my boyfriend Jake- I just don't think that Jake knows he's my boyfriend! haha Here are some photos from the concert.

Jake:



Sugarland & Danny Gokey



Saturday night was a bbq with friends and Sunday night we saw Darius Rucker (aka Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish) in Lowell, MA. He put on an awesome show!



It was a jam packed weekend but it was lots of fun!

"Let It Go"

I went to stake conference a couple weeks ago and President Watson gave a talk where the theme was "let it go". One of the things he talked about was circumstances in our life beyond our control and how we need to not let those things stop us from progressing and if we were letting that happen, then we needed to "let it go". With Mother's day fast approaching, I felt like he was speaking directly to me. When you aren't able to have children, Mother's day can feel like the worst day of the year. I couldn't bring myself to go to church today and listen to all the talks about how wonderful motherhood is and have them hand out flowers or candy or whatever it was this year to all the women "18 and older" instead of "mothers", because I am the only one not in the mother category.

I was taught growing up in church that motherhood is a sacred calling and many lessons revolved around family and getting married and having children someday. Whenever you move to a new ward or whenever someone new moves into your ward, the first question you are asked is "how many children do you have?" When the answer is "none", there are a variety of different responses. Some people are understanding, but others look at you like you must somehow be unworthy. You feel like you don't fit in with other couples your age who are raising a family. I finally realized that I needed to "let it go". I need to let go of the failure and inadequacy that I feel over not being able to have children. It is something beyond my control. Life doesn't always turn out the way you thought it would, or go the way you think it should. I had an "aha" moment on the ride home that night when I realized that the people that mean the most to me in my life don't care that I am not a mother. They simply love me because I am their wife, or sister, or aunt or daughter or friend. They don't judge me, they just love me. I am thankful for those people.

So, while I am working on letting this go, I realize that it's going to take some time. Today I spent the day with my "babies".

Colin has always been so thoughtful to get me cards and a gift from the dogs every year. He use to say that he smuggled them into his jacket and took them into the store so the dogs could pick it out themselves. We took the dogs for a drive and a walk at a park. The walk turned into a nightmare when other people and dogs showed up. See our blog post from a day at the beach and you will understand why. :) Happy Mother's day to my mom and Colin's mom. We love you.